My Life?

As I was reading Lucy today after every page I wondered, does Jamaica Kincaid know my life? It seemed that almost everything she said had some relation to me. Reading through the couple of chapters we had to for class I was constantly thinking, "wow, that totally goes with my life".

Some of the most disheartening times that this happened included when Lucy struggled with her feelings with her mother. "I was not like my mother-I was my mother" This rang so true with me. There are so many days that I go through the day saying that I will never become like my mother. There are so many things that I dislike about her but then at the end of the day I realize that as much as I try not to be like her I am like my mom in so many ways. My mother is always the maternal figure for many people, at work she has so many "adopted" children. She is always willing to help people who are struggling it almost becomes a fault. These things about her I often times get frustrated but in the end I realize that I am exactly the same. I am willing to give everything to everyone with almost nothing in return. And the most frustrating thing is that I do it again and again, which I have seen my mother do more than once.

I felt what Lucy felt when she struggled with this emotional battle. Trying to become your own self only knowing that you are going to become something that you have fought to be.

After this emotional battle I was SHOCKED when Maude came and told Lucy about her dad. Then I wanted to cry when Lucy explained what happened "My father had died...Though for a long time he had suffered from a weak heart, still it was unexpected...My father died leaving my mother a pauper" Those few sentences were my life. Kincaid had summed up my life in just a few short sentences. My dad had struggled with heart disease for a couple of years, but being optimistic lead me to believe that nothing would ever happen to him. He would always be strong and never get sick. Then when my dad did die it was extremely unexpected. I never thought that he would be gone. Then shortly after he passed away my mom and I realized that he had not kept up on his life insurance. My mom was then forced to take on some of his bills with no help from his life insurance policy. Because of my own emotional struggle I felt what Lucy was going through more than I had ever wished to. At the moment I read that I wished I could just reach through and give her a hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay.